I.
Agenda for Regular Couple’s Meetings
1. Share compliments and appreciations.
2. Review any unfinished business from past meeting/s.
3. Review calendar and do necessary scheduling, including planning a date for
the two of you.
4. Discuss any financial issues, take care of paying bills, etc.
5. Agree on an agenda, then take one item or problem at a time, as follows:
a. First discuss the issue in terms of each of your underlying interests
(Why this is important?), rather than first stating your positions (This is what
you/we should do).
b. Throughout, always take turns being the speaker and the listener. When
you are the listener, make sure you fully understand before you take your turn
to speak.
c. Take time to brainstorm ideas for possible solutions, generating as many
new options as possible (no evaluating or critiquing during this part of the
process).
d. After discussing some of the more agreeable options you now have on the
table, decide by consensus. If you can’t come up with a win-win solution,
postpone the decision to a later time, agree on an interim solution, or see a
mediator or counselor for help. Remember, no agreement needs to be set in stone
for all time, but should be honored until it is reviewed and changed.
e. Decide how and by whom a decision is to be carried out, and what will
happen if it isn’t. To avoid misunderstandings, put both the agreement and any
friendly, agreed on “consequence-for-not-following-through” in writing.
6. Decide on a time for your next couple’s meeting, and who will be responsible
for making sure the session happens. Of course, either partner can respectfully
ask for a special session at any time it is agreeable to the other.
7. Keep it under an hour, and end with some activity you both enjoy.