NewsLetters

October - December 2008

Volume 20, Issue 4

New Clinical Psychologist Joins FLRC

                                                                                        - Harvey Yoder

    Dr. Kathryn Rexrode returned to her native Shenandoah Valley this summer, married her sweetheart, Doyle Moats, Jr., and became a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of Virginia.

On September 1, she also joined the staff of the Family Life Resource Center.

As a youth, Kathryn attended Harrisonburg Mennonite Church and graduated from both Eastern Mennonite High School and EMU. She then earned a Master’s degree in teaching emotionally disturbed children and taught for three years at Wilson Elementary in Augusta County.

From there Kathryn attended Temple University to earn an MEd and a PhD in Counseling Psychology. For the next three years she worked at Philhaven, a psychiatric hospital near Lebanon, Pennsylvania.

Kathryn’s hobbies include cooking, gardening, playing volleyball, interior decorating, antique shopping, and supporting her husband's country gospel music ministry. At FLRC she will be doing individual and relationship counseling along with psychological testing and assessments.

Alternative Giving Fair

    Tired of trying to figure out what Christmas gift to give a friend or loved one?

FLRC is collaborating with other non-profits in the area for a third season of offering an alternative to traditional gift giving. This year’s Giving Fair will be held at the Valley Mall on Saturday, November 22. Over twenty organizations will have display tables set up where shoppers can donate to the cause of their choice in the name of someone they care about.

The idea for this comes from a group called Alternatives for Simple Living, which promotes focusing on more giving to the One whose birthday we are actually celebrating.

 Centerpiece Sampler 

Mike Sherer, a Lutheran minister, and his wife Kathe, a registered
nurse, began celebrating Christmas without Santa Claus when their first
child was three years old. They had come to see Santa as little more
than a prop for the great North American Christmas Marketing Machine, and so decided to focus on his venerable ancestor, the real life St. Nicholas, instead.

This third century bishop of Myra, on the southern coast of what is now Turkey, became legendary for his generosity in helping the poor and needy in his parish, according to stories about him passed down through the generations. Because this real saint seemed to be a better alternative to the jolly old elf of recent invention, the Sherers began celebrating the Feast Day of St. Nicholas, which is on December 6, as an early part of their family’s Advent,. Also, each year they designate 5% of their December income to give anonymous help to a needy individual or family in their community, in the spirit of the good bishop of Myra.

They do put up a tree, but fill the area around it with good books about Christmas instead of the gifts for themselves that used to accumulate there. They then put these away each year with the tree decorations, to give them a rest and to make them “new” for the next                                           Advent.

    The Sherers report that giving up a fake “Santa” for a real saint they feel embodies the true spirit of the Christ in Christmas has been a richly satisfying change, one they would recommend to anyone.                                        - Harvey Yoder

Sensabaugh Takes New Administrative Post

The FLRC Board of Directors is pleased to announce that therapist Mark Sensabaugh, MA, who has been with the Center since July, 2007, will devote two days a week in a newly combined role of clinical and administrative director starting October 15. Sensabaugh was a pastoral counselor at Grace Covenant Church from 1993-2004, then an Associate Pastor at New Life Church in Virginia Beach for the next three years.

Clinician James Glanzer has been serving as FLRC’s part time clinical director. Administrative Director Ralph Steger, who has been a great asset to the Center for the past four years, will begin his retirement in mid-October.

How to be Debt-Free and Dollar-Smart

A three-session class on “Becoming Wise Financially” will be offered at FLRC January 12-26, co-sponsored by the Family Life Resource Center and Mennonite Mutual Aid.

Thanks to MMA, the class is free.

July - September, 2008

Volume 20, Issue 3      

                                         Faith, Values, and Family Traditions - Harvey Yoder

Family counselor and author Philip Osborne stresses the importance of regularly spending lots of problem-free time with children, enjoying bedtime rituals, family trips, and frequent get-togethers with good friends and relatives. It is through these experiences, he believes, that we are often most effective in passing on good values and creating good memories for our children.

In a similar vein, columnist Luanne Austin writes, “Gathering around a table to share a meal is a daily sacrament we often take for granted. . . . As we partake of the meal, we partake of each other.”

All of this takes time. While someone has written a book called 365 Ways to Save Time with Kids, most of us need to find more ways of savoring time rather than just saving it. In fact, we may do well to squander more of it at times with a spouse, a child, or a friend--by simply enjoying each other’s closeness, marveling over a sunset or an ant colony, or sharing a story or personal experience.

My wife and I have fond memories of nightly story times with our children when they were young. Other rituals included having a resident of a nearby home for the handicapped at our house each Christmas Eve and for her annual birthday dinner, and enjoying a mouthwatering family brunch every Christmas morning, always prepared  by one of our sons. Other simple rituals include waving goodbye from our living room window whenever any of us drives off, even for a brief errand, and the long-standing habit Alma Jean and I have of reading and praying together before we drift off to sleep.

Life is too short not to experience the closest and most memorable connections possible with those we care about most. - from Lasting Marriage--the Owners’ Manual (Herald Press 2007) 

Painless Fundraising 

Do you have a Food Lion MVP card? If so, you can designate a non-profit agency to which they will donate a portion of each purchase you make using the card. At no additional cost to you, you can have the satisfaction of making regular contributions to FLRC or to another non-profit of your choice.

     To sign on, you can e-mail us, contact us by phone or send us a note with the following information:

MVP card # (12 digits):

Full name:

Address:

Phone number:

     This information will be used only to register you to participate in Food Lion’s Shop and Share program--if you happen to be a Food Lion shopper.

Centerpiece Schedule 

WEMC 91.7 FM 8:56 am M-F

                              8 am Sunday

WBTX 1470 AM 9:20 am M-F

 4:20 pm M-F  (Sponsored by Swope Auto Sales at  Linville, VA)

WNLR 1150 AM 11:27 am M,W,F (Sponsored by The Cheese Shop at  Stuarts Draft, VA)

 Centerpiece Sampler  

Sociologist Barbara Fiese and other colleagues at the Syracuse University have reviewed a multitude of studies that show a positive correlation between parents establishing good routines and rituals and their enjoying more marital and family satisfaction. Children in that environment invariably experience better health, stronger family ties and a more positive sense of personal worth.

     Here are just a few sample ideas we’ve come up with:

• Garden together, and preserve, prepare, and serve lots of good home-cooked meals.

• Make bedtimes occasions for story telling, reading, and/or prayers together.

• Develop traditions around holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of special family events.

• Share family hobbies, interests, and recreational activities.

• Engage in family service projects.

• Take part in congregational activities.

• Sponsor a needy child abroad.

• Attend church-wide assemblies and other events.

• Host international students and guests from other lands and cultures.

• Regularly attend family reunions, and find other ways of staying in touch with extended family members.      - Harvey Yoder

Which Harvey Yoder?

Google the above name and you can find yourself confused. It turns out there is another Harvey Yoder, also without a middle name, who has written thirteen widely-read books. Among them are God Knows My Size, They Would Not Be Moved, and The Happening.

The other Harvey was reared in an Amish community in Western Maryland, and has also been a school teacher and church leader. He currently lives in Spruce Pine, North Carolina. He and his wife are parents of five grown children.

 Got Assertiveness?

If you’ve never taken an assertiveness training class, consider signing up for Jim Glanzer’s fall series beginning September 23.

Assertiveness isn’t about being aggressive or domineering, he says, but about respectfully letting others know your needs and feelings while showing equal respect for theirs.

John Beiler, CEO of the Park View Federal Credit Union, regularly enrolls his new employees, and says, “Park View has benefited from FLRC’s Assertiveness classes for over 10 years. The classes help employees provide better member service and improved relationships with co-workers.”

FLRC Offers Fourth Seminar for Couples

Another Marriage Maintenance series led by Harvey Yoder will meet on four Tuesday evenings from 7-8:30 beginning September 8. The series draws on insights from Yoder’s recent book, Lasting Marriage—The Owners’ Manual.

There is no charge for the class, but an offering will be taken to benefit FLRC.  Contact FLRC to register for this seminar or for Jim Glanzer’s class.

 April - June, 2008

Volume 20, Issue 2

 "Mothers and Others" Night Out Set

 Esther and Myron Augsburger  will be the featured speakers and honorees at FLRC's spring "night out" for mothers, friends and "significant others." The event will be held Saturday, May 10, on the eve of Mothers Day, at Eastern Mennonite High School. "Night out" is a fund raiser for the Center.

The EMHS foyer will be open at 6 p.m. for refreshments and to view a display of Esther Augsburger's sculpture and other art work, some of which will be available for purchase. After the 6:30 meal, the Augsburgers will speak on the theme, "Artists of the Heart - How Our Mothers Shaped Our Values and Vision."

In addition to years of teaching, pastoring, writing, speaking and other ministries, the Augsburgers have coauthored a book on family life entitled How to be a Christ-Shaped Family, a signed copy of which will be awarded as a door prize. Among additional prizes offered will be a night at the Old Massanutten Lodge B & B near Keezletown.

A freewill offering ($40 per person suggested minimum) will be received. Costs of the event are being covered by interested area businesses.

Since seating is limited, please call 434-8450 early to make a reservation.

            Myron and Esther Augsburger

A Weeklong Turn 0ff

At least one local congregation is encouraging its members to kiss their laptops, DVD players, video

I-Pods, X-boxes and television sets goodbye for seven days during TV Turn Off Week April 21-27.

Community Mennonite in Harrisonburg is having a game night on Sunday, April 20, to promote the idea. 

Says interim co-pastor Shirley Yoder Brubaker, "We want to highlight the fun of interacting with friends instead of sitting in front of a television set, and to engage in activities that can replace television watching."

The church will encourage each  family to design a week-long calendar that lists a special activity for each night of the week; like board games, friends' night, etc.               

 The idea for this annual screen fast comes from adbusters.com, an organization dedicated to helping consumers become more aware of how their attitudes and values are being shaped by a profit-driven media industry.

Centerpiece Sampler  

According to a recent AP piece, nearly half of teens age 13-18 use instant messaging on their cell phones and computers, compared to only about 20% of adults.

Teens are also twice as likely as adults to use them for sharing music or video files or listening to music, often engaging in more than one task or in more than one conversation at a time. And while adults still send more e-mails than text messages, with teens it's the other way around.

One in ten teens in the survey admitted to spending three or more hours a day instant messaging, about double the adult rate, and nearly a fifth are sending over a 100 text messages daily, about triple the number for adults.

One 14-year-old whose parents are trying to wean her from long hours of Im-ing a day is quoted as saying, "I could be practicing my viola or riding my bike... but I'd rather talk to my friends."

This form of communication has also become a way to send crude and offensive messages teens would feel uneasy delivering face to face, but also for things like asking for a date or even breaking off a relation-ship with a girl friend or boy friend.

Where is this kind of high speed, high tech chatter taking us as a culture? I'm not sure, but I can't help question whether it will contribute to building satisfying and lasting relationships.          

                                    - Harvey Yoder

Centerpiece Schedule

WEMC 91.7 FM 8:56 am M-F

                            8 am Sunday

WBTX 1470 AM 9:20 am M-F

 4:20 pm M-F

(Sponsored by Swope Auto Sales at  

               Linville, VA)

WNLR 1150 AM 11:27 am MWF

(Sponsored by The Cheese Shop at

              Stuarts Draft, VA)

Dr. Rose Flory Leads a New Class for Parents

Local psychologist Rose Flory is offering a program this spring at FLRC called "Act Against Violence: Parents Raising Safe Kids."

It is aimed at parents of infants through elementary school age children and will cover topics such as what to expect from your child at various stages of development, how to respond to challenging behaviors, and how to solve family conflicts and deal with community and media violence.

It will be held at FLRC on eight Monday evenings from 7-8:30 starting May 5. The cost is $65 per participant.

FLRC Offers Third Seminar for Couples

Another Marriage Maintenance class led by Harvey Yoder will meet on four Tuesday evenings from 7-8:30 beginning May 6. The series draws on insights from Yoder's recent book, Lasting Marriage: The Owners' Manual.

Recent participants, in writing evaluations of the course, used terms like "very helpful," "useful approach to solving problems," and "should be longer!"

There is no charge for the series, but an offering will be taken to benefit FLRC.

 January-March, 2008

Volume 20, Issue 1

 New Groups Address Range of Needs

 "A Picture of Healing: Therapy with Visual Arts" is the name of a therapy group being offered at the Center from 4-5:30 pm on eight Mondays beginning January 7.

     "Traditional talk therapy assumes that words are the best ways to express needs and feelings," says FLRC therapist and artist Andrea Bieber, who co-leads the group with Resident in Counseling Joann Hershberger Henderson. But she adds, "Sometimes in times of pain, loss or other deep emotions, words alone may not seem adequate. In these times, we be able to better communicate using the elements of art as well as talking."

     Bieber assures participants they don't have to have any special artistic talent in order to benefit from taking part.      Registration for this pilot program is only $40, and includes all art equipment and medium, but space is limited to eight participants. 

"Sacred Circle: A Women's Personal and Spiritual Growth Group" is being offered for the second time at FLRC beginning Wednesday, January 16 at 11-12:30. Joann Hershberger Henderson, a Pastoral Care Specialist serving as a Resident in Counseling at FLRC, will again lead the group, assisted by Felicia Aliano, a current intern at the Center. Henderson believes that women's groups "can create an atmosphere where women validate one another's experiences and find power in their connections with each other."   Full cost of the series is $56, but payment plans are available.

"Marriage Maintenance: An Owners' Seminar" is being led for the second time by Harvey Yoder. It meets on four Tuesday evenings from 7-8:30 beginning February 4, and draws on insights from his recent book, Lasting Marriage: The Owners' Manual.  There is no charge for the series, but an offering will be taken to benefit FLRC.

 Centerpiece Sampler  

Associate professor of psychology Stephen Ilardi of the University of Kansas believes the reason we're so depressed about our lives is based on how we actually live our lives.      

     In a November-December 2007 AARP magazine article entitled "Simply Happy," writer Julia Klein quotes Ilardi as saying, "There's increasing evidence that we were never designed for our sedentary, socially isolated, indoor, sleep-deprived, poorly nourished lifestyle." He notes that since World War II, as we've become more modernized and urbanized, our depression rates have increased tenfold, and that it's an even greater problem with young people than with older folks.

     Dr. Ilardi's approach to treating depression, called Therapeutic Lifestyle Change for Depression, or TLC, involves being a lot more active socially, engaging in more  aerobic activities, getting more sleep, and spending more time actually doing things, especially outdoors, rather than sitting around and ruminating about distresses.

     Based on preliminary results from this approach, typically involving people being an active part of an educational and support group, he's convinced this works better than simply relying on antidepressants and traditional psychotherapy.

     Ilardi also bases some of his conclusions on the fact that members of so called primitive tribal groups are virtually depression free, and that close knit, hard working Amish farm families also have lower depression rates. He believes our bodies and our psyches just aren't adapting well to the sedentary, solitary and stressed lives most of us are living today, and that we need to change accordingly.                                          
                                    - Harvey Yoder

FLRC Offers Engaged Seminar at EMU

"Five Steps to a Great Marriage" is the theme of a series of five 7-8:30 pm Sunday sessions for engaged couples set to begin January 27. The $20 fee per couple for EMU students (and $50 for other couples) includes a copy of Harvey Yoder's book, Lasting Marriage: The Owners' Manual.   Sessions will be held in Rm. 211 in EMU's University Commons, and will cover the following topics: 

"Start With Yourself: Be the Best Woman/The Best Man You Can Be"

"Maximize Positive, Problem-Free Times Together"

"Experience Conflict Without Engaging in Combat"

"Practice Fiscal Sobriety and Generous Giving"

"Become Lifelong Lovers and Best Friends" 

     Register early at EMU, 432-4196 or <campusministries@emu.edu> or contact FLRC, 434-8450, or <harvey@flrc.org>.

New Staff at FLRC

     Joann Hershberger Henderson, MA.  A graduate of EMU's Master of Arts in Counseling program, Joann is a certified Pastoral Care Specialist and is our newest Resident in Counseling. She and her husband Jim live in Broadway Virginia and are parents of two children, Anna, 21, and Max, 15. 

April - June, 2007

Volume 19. Issue 2

Banquet, Book Launch, FLRC'S 20th Birthday

A "Couples Night Out"    for engaged and married couples at Harrisonburg's Simple Pleasures will be the inaugural event for the Family Life Resource Center's Twentieth Anniversary Celebration. This May 19 event is both a fund raiser for FLRC and is in response to a suggestion by the Nurture Commission of Virginia Mennonite Conference to provide a special evening out for couples.

Gerald and Marlene Kaufman, marriage counselors and authors of the book, Monday Marriage: Celebrating the Ordinary, will be the featured speakers, and Pittsburgh saxophonist Brad Yoder will provide special music at the dinner. Door prizes and a silent auction will add to the fun, and a freewill offering ($40 per person suggested minimum) will be received. The entire event is being sponsored by interested area businesses.

Seating is limited, so interested couples should call 434-8450 early for a reservation.

 Another 20^th Birthday Party is planned for Park View Mennonite Church July 1, 2007, on the day and at the location where FLRC first opened its doors twenty years ago. John Drescher, a former FLRC board member and a best selling author of books on marriage and the family will speak on that occasion. Live music and refreshments will also be a part of this family-centered occasion, and a freewill offering will be received.
 

Lasting Marriage: The Owners' Guide, authored by FLRC counselor Harvey Yoder and newly released by Herald Press, will be available at these events.

Lasting Marriage is based on the premise that relationships need the same kind of care and maintenance we give any other valued possession, such as a motor vehicle. While we naturally assume our cars will require more, not less, care as they age, we have often not applied that same reasoning to marriage.

The book, scheduled for release in May, has three parts, each with six chapters. The first is "Marriage Preparation," the second "Basic Marriage Maintenance," and the third "Maintenance Through the Mini-van Years."

Lee  Eshleman, member of the Ted and Lee performance duo, has done the cover art  and illustrations for the book.

The appendixes, labeled "Spare Parts," contain a variety of inventories and other helpful material on relationship maintenance. These can be downloaded and printed for personal and pastoral use at www.flrc.org/lastingmarriage.htm.

WEMC Continues to Air FLRC Radio Spots

Radio station WEMC, under new management since February, has chosen to air FLRC's Centerpiece radio spots at 7:56 weekday mornings and 8 am on Sundays for now. Feel free to thank station manager Tom DuVal at 568-6221 (or duvalte@jmu.edu).

Centerpiece Sampler   

(radio segment to be aired this Spring)

David Walsh, author, speaker and head of the Institute for Media and the Family, has written a new best seller called NO, Why Kids "of All Ages" Need to Hear It, and Ways Parents Can Say It.

     The book addresses what Walsh calls DDD, Discipline Deficit Disorder, partly the result of a media dominated culture that promotes "More, Fast, Easy and Fun." The result, he says, is psychologically flabby and spiritually empty kids who grow up in a culture of disrespect, and who feel entitled to instant gratification and wall-to-wall entertainment. This not only threatens their future success and happiness, Walsh believes, but doesn't bode well for their being able to be competitive in a demanding global economy.
     FLRC has been promoting firm and consistent parenting through its Positive Parenting classes for nearly 20 years. We believe that effective Moms and Dads are those who manage to combine firm, no-nonsense positions with respectful but assertive connections, that is, they are respectful, but don't cave in where children's health, safety or basic values are concerned.
     Sometimes just saying No to self indulgence and self-centeredness can be the most positive thing we can do for our sons and daughters.

                                          - Harvey Yoder

Centerpiece Schedule

WEMC 91.7 FM 7:56 am M-F

                            8 am Sunday

WBTX 1470 AM 9:20 am M-F

 4:20 pm M-F

(Sponsored by Swope Auto Sales at Linville, VA)

WNLR 1150 AM 11:27 am MWF

(Sponsored by The Cheese Shop at

Stuarts Draft, VA)

Dorothy is Back!

Dorothy Hottle, FLRC's office manager, has been transitioning back to work after a series of surgeries and cancer treatments. She says, "I have been so blessed by all the prayers, expressions of concern, and the more than 200 cards and letters of support I've received over the past number of months!"

 

 Jan-Mar 2007

Vol. 19, Issue 1

Resource Editor:  Harvey Yoder

    Future of Centerpiece Radio Spots Weighed
     "You are invited to tune in to 'Centerpiece,' a new series of two-minute radio spots produced by members of the Family Life Resource Center staff." --July,1998 RESOURCE

    In the eight years since this announcement appeared, a total of over 1000 brief radio messages on values, relationships and mental health issues have been aired weekdays on local stations WEMC and WBTX. Some have been repeated from time to time since the writing and recording of the spots have become the sole responsibility of staff member Harvey Yoder.
     WEMC has made free air time available for all these years, for which the Center is deeply grateful to EMU. The campus station also repeats one of the week's spots at 8 am each Sunday.

    In recent years Swope Auto Sales of Linville has sponsored the spots on WBTX, which has generously provided additional free air time as well.       

      In 2001 Churchville radio station WNLR began airing the spots each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. These are sponsored by the Cheese Shop at Stuarts Draft.
     It's hard to measure the impact of these short messages, but the Center frequently gets positive responses from listeners, along with occasional requests for a copy of the text of a particular piece.                       

      FLRC's Board has been very supportive of the project, accomplished almost entirely though free production and air time. Says board chair Dick Alderfer, "We feel this type of positive word is needed in our community and that radio is a great way to get it out."

 Future of spots in question
     Whether Centerpiece can continue to be the same kind of  voice for FLRC as it has in the past will depend on several factors. The fact that WEMC is soon to be under the management of WMRA raises some issues. Some of the more overtly religious themes in some spots may present a problem, as may the fact that the recordings are not as precise in length as might be required by a more automated WMRA.

    WMRA's Tom DuVal also wonders whether running a piece promoting FLRC would mean they would need to accept similar spots done by other community agencies. Where and how future recordings would be done would also need to be worked out.
    WEMC's current station manager is to operate the station until February 1. Meanwhile, FLRC welcomes your feedback.

      Comments and concerns may also be addressed to WEMC at 432-4287 or c/o EMU, Harrisonburg, VA 22802), and to WMRA at 568-6221 (or c/o JMU, Harrisonburg, VA 22807). E-mails may be sent to wemc@emu.edu and to duvalte@jmu.edu.    

                                                Centerpiece Sampler   week of January 22-26, 2007

     Robert Putnam's recent book, Bowling Alone, is about the declining number of face to face connections folks have with each other. This results in a loss of "social capital," a term he uses to describe the benefits we get from being in regular and meaningful contact with others. Where this kind of community networking is happening, he says, crime rates are lower, schools are better and the economic growth is higher.   

   Unfortunately, since the 60's and 70's there has been a 40-50 percent drop in membership in groups like the PTA, civic clubs, and the League of Women voters, and a smaller but significant drop in church attendance. The number of picnics and family dinners has dropped even more dramatically.

     He attributes this to the increase in two-career families, growing urban sprawl, and the privatizing of our leisure time activities, especially the use of more home entertainment in the form of DVD's, video games, the Internet, and television.

     Those who report TV watching as their favorite form of entertainment are far less likely to be involved in building social capital. With the average American having over four hours of screen time a day, most people are watching programs like "Friends" in place of actually having friends.         

     Putnam believes families and congregations need to do all they can to increase good connections with others.

Alternative Giving Fair Raises Nearly $2000

     On December 6, FLRC and fifteen other local nonprofits celebrated the Feast of Nicholas Day with a Holiday Alternative Giving Fair at the First Presbyterian Church in Harrisonburg.

     Together the groups raised a total of $1,963 and made many good contacts.  Each agency provided an information booth and ornaments for a communal Christmas tree.  The creativeness was wonderful and the booths were filled with the spirit of giving.

     The monthly noon prayer luncheon held at the site on that day was also well attended. To top it all off, a JMU choral group added to the kind of Christmas spirit the fourth century Saint Nicholas would surely have enjoyed. 

     Each agency involved agreed they would like to do this again next year.

Hottle Hopes For a  Happier New Year
     The year 2006 has been a difficult one for Dorothy Hottle, FLRC's office manager since 1992.
     In August she was diagnosed with cancer, and had to go through several months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. In early November she was struck by a car in a parking lot and had to be taken to the emergency room at RMH. On November 20 her hip fractured and she was taken back to the hospital for surgery. While continuing to recover from that, she is also preparing for a surgery for her cancer January 2 at UVA's Medical Center.
     Throughout, Dorothy's strong faith and sunny smiles have been an inspiration. "I so appreciate the ways God has blessed me with friends and family who love me and have prayed for me," she says, "and I plan to be back as good as new in February."
     Notes and cards of encouragement can be sent to 2985 Sunrise Drive, Broadway, VA 22815.

Vol. 18, No. 2 Apr-June 2006                             

  Resource editor: Harvey Yoder

    DIVORCE NUMBERS WERE DOWN 12.8% for Harrisonburg and Rockingham County in 2005, according to figures recently obtained from the local Circuit Court. Marriage numbers also dropped 7.3% to 889, down from 959 last year and a record high of 1,003 in 2001, the same year that saw record numbers of divorces as well, 438 compared to 381 last year.

Meanwhile, the combined population for the city and county has gone from an estimated 110,000 four years ago to around 115,000 at present, an increase of over 4%.

     BETTER PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE by way of premarital counseling, premarital inventories, and workshops for engaged couples can help people in love make wiser marriage choices and help them achieve their goal of "happily ever after."  FLRC and EMU are co-sponsoring another engaged couples series this spring (see back page). 

WE WELCOME MATT BRILL, LPC, a 1998 graduate of EMU's Masters in Counseling program, as the newest addition to our FLRC staff. One of his specialties is working with troubled adolescents and their families. We are pleased to have Matt join FLRC, and look forward to a long and fruitful relationship.

       NEARLY FIFTY PEOPLE from the Wakeman's Grove Church of the Brethren near Woodstock registered for Harvey Yoder's all day workshop on lay pastoral caregiving held there Saturday, February 25. Lay people have always offered much of the day to day care given to hurting persons, and the Family Life Resource Center is glad to provide this kind of training in local congregations.

                                                                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    "May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart"
    May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."-          a Fransciscan blessing

 CALENDAR  (Call 434-8450 to register)

 MAR   16 TO APRIL 13    ENGAGED SEMINAR SERIES  (at EMU)

3/16         "Start With Yourself--It Takes Healthy Individuals to Create a Healthy Marriage"

 3/23 "Learn About Your Families of Origin--Your Past is Always Present"     

3/30 "Be Prepared to Accept Conflict--But Avoid Combat" 

4/6 "Prepare a Sound Budget--Prevent Financial Pitfalls" 

4/13 "Keep Your Love Alive--In Every Part of Your Marriage" 

ALZHEIMER CAREGIVERS SUPPORT GROUPS (no charge)

Second Wednesdays at Bridgewater Retirement Community 10-11:30 am

Third Wednesdays at Sunnyside Retirement Community 10-11:30 am

 APR 1      DAY CAMP FOR CHILDREN EXPERIENCING BEREAVEMENT at Massanetta Springs Campground

       24       POSITIVE PARENTING CLASS   five Mondays, 7-8:30 pm

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THANK YOU FOR HELPING FLRC HELP OTHERS!

    Here's my tax-deductible contribution to support counseling services for individuals and families without health insurance:

___$1000     ___$500    ___$250     ___$100     ___$50      $______

Name _________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

Please mail to: Family Life Resource Center

273 Newman Avenue, Harrisonburg, VA 22801

Vol. 18, No. 1 Jan-Mar 2006                               

 Resource editor:  Harvey Yoder

                                                     MAKE YOUR RESOLUTIONS WORK!

   1) Start with goals that are specific and measurable, like "I  will spend ten minutes with each child daily," rather than just "I want to have a better relationship with my children."

   2) Commit to goals that are achievable. "Losing fifty pounds by spring" may not be realistic, but limiting fast foods and fattening desserts to once a week is clearly doable.

   3) Make yourself accountable. Find someone to partner with and report to on a regular basis.

   4) Reward yourself for successes. Allow yourself some enjoyable activity after you accomplish a task (not before).

   5) Refuse to say "I can't" to any of the above, but rather, "I'm finding this hard--but I'll find a way to accomplish it."

   "THE AVERAGE YOUNGSTER will witness 200,000 acts of violence before he or she graduates from high school," writes media expert David Walsh of mediawatch.com. A free seminar on the effects of this kind of media exposure, especially on the internet and in video games, will be led by Harvey Yoder (FLRC) and Larry Heatwole (Computer Works) on Monday, January 23, from 7-8:30 pm. Call to register.

 LOIS WENGER, LCSW, is certified to offer Professional Care Management for seniors who do not have local adult children to arrange, coordinate and monitor care. Typical services include needs assessment, arranging for in-home help, referral and follow-up with community resources, and ongoing help and advocacy. Lois also serves as a liaison with other professionals, such as physicians and attorneys. Call her at FLRC.

TO KNOT OR NOT TO KNOT? If that is your question, check out the seminar on page two.

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    "May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart"
    May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."

                                          - a Fransciscan blessing for the New Year

 CALENDAR  (Call 434-8450 to register) 

JAN    3 FREE SEPARATED AND DIVORCED RECOVERY GROUP

                Six Tuesdays 7-8:30 pm, led by Cynthia Long-Lasher 

23   FREE WORKSHOP ON MEDIA AND CHILDREN

                   Monday 7-8:30 pm

26   COPING WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE         

   Free support group led by Cynthia Long-Lasher

   Six Thursdays 7-8:30 pm  

30      POSITIVE PARENTING CLASS                 

                    Five Mondays, 7-8:30 p.m., led by Harvey Yoder $35 per person

       Text, Common Sense Parenting, $1

  FEB   5    TO KNOT, OR NOT TO KNOT?    $5 a couple

A 2-4:30 p.m. seminar for dating (but not engaged) couples led by panel made up of an experienced married couple, a recently married couple and a divorced person. Meets in EMU's University Commons, Room 211 (free to EMU students).

 24-26     MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER (in Richmond)